By the Time YOU READ THIS

A dark comedy about a perfectionist trying to write a suicide note.

Directors Statement

I was stuck.

Going through my usual struggles of absolute creative inertia. The daily broodings of self-declared and self-pitying insignificance: how whatever I do isn’t enough or worthy of follow through. My mind had a clever way of delivering censorious jabs and rationalizations as to why I don’t deserve to write, express myself, or pursue my dreams.

But then I found a DVD copy of the Duplass Brothers film, The Puffy Chair, from the Chicago Public Library. The movie itself was fine, but it was the special features section which included one of their shorts, “This is John” that lit something up in me. Their short is about John, played by Mark Duplass, trying to set up his voicemail greetings, and having a brilliant pathos filled and progressive meltdown. 

One actor, one location, one idea.

I decided to use that as a model to give myself permission to stay focused and simple. And to just effing commit to creating something. 

What was bubbling in me at the time were hang-ups around perfectionism, insecurity and dithering inaction. What came out was a story about Alex (played by Katie Bates), a perfectionist, trying to write a suicide note.

I tried to create an elevated context and capture an extremely vulnerable situation to show a character getting derailed by every single possible decision.

My hope is that an audience witnessing Alex’s descent will be able to find humor, poignancy, and a degree of self-recognition in what is typically represented as--and understandably so--an utterly unfunny scenario.

I believe—and my production company OHH MAYBE commits to this belief—that cast, crew and productions must be diverse and equitable. 

Though this was a tiny two-day schedule, everyone on set from performer to PA was compensated.  

As an actor I have experienced the humiliation of more money being spent on props than the living breathing human beings performing. As a production assistant I have spent hours on a set where the filmmaker used his privilege to spend thousands on renting camera gear but could only offer the crew a meal and an IMDB credit. Those memories and experiences are painful (and I imagine, unfortunately, shared by many). 

So though I might not experience the benefit of moving fast, producing quick, and expecting free labor like some filmmakers do, I am willing to delay my artistic expression and growth if it means that everyone involved in my projects has the dignity of getting paid a respectful wage for their gifts, talents, and dreams.

Lastly, if the world is to benefit from diverse stories, we must begin by having the benefit of diverse crews. Or to paraphrase Cheryl Dunye’s blunt observation from the Hollywood Reporter’s “Own Your Narrative” summit, we need to keep looking at the other side of the lens to make sure that a set isn’t just “white dudes in shorts.” So I am grateful to say that 100% of the crew for this short were black or filmmakers of color. 

DIVERSITY AND EQUITY